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  • Julien Demaret

"I'm not drinking too much... Come on, I'm just enjoying life!"

Updated: Jul 4

Let's talk about your relationship with Alcohol. Should we?


Photo by Kevin Kelly on Unsplash

I know, I know, life is hard. Your job may not give you much satisfaction. Your kids might stress you out. You have some problems going on. You need some drink to relax, you deserve it right?


 

You have been working the whole week, eating clean, and going to the gym to exercise. Now the weekend is coming, finally, the time to enjoy life after all these weekly efforts. “Let’s go out and get drunk with some friends!” Why? Because it’s Friday night, isn’t it?


 

Or maybe you just like the taste of some french red wine with your dinner. You are just drinking one or two glasses per day, it’s not a big deal, right?


 

Well, maybe it is. But don’t worry, it’s never too late to take action.


I know, because I have been drinking increasingly for 15 years of my life to the point where I finally found the courage to end this vicious circle and explore other areas of life. It’s been 3 years now since I quit drinking.


I was so miserable. I was not enjoying my life. I just wanted to escape from it. I was depressed and couldn’t imagine my future. I was searching for an easy fix, an easy relief on the weekend to allow me to forget for a moment that Monday was coming again. I created so many issues for myself because of that. I got beaten a couple of times and lost my driving license a couple of times too. I lost friends, relationships, and self-esteem.

But one day I decided that I had enough suffering and it was time to do something with my life. I am an alcoholic still, but I don’t drink anymore. It means that if I drink again, just one glass, I will probably fall into this self-destructive pattern again.

I know ALCOHOLIC is a big word, and people don’t like it. Let me suggest you another way to look at it, instead of this taboo word that is hard to bear, we can consider the following : “I think I have an unhealthy relationship with Alcohol.”


And yours, might not be as bad as mine, there are a lot of different degrees in this and everyone's experience and life are different.

Although I would say…

There are 3 major categories of unhealthy relationships with alcohol :

  • The first is the most obvious one that everyone thinks is the only one: You drink every day, from the moment you wake up to the time you’re falling unconscious in your bed at night.


  • The second one is the one I had. You are almost sober for your working days, but when Friday night is coming, or even Thursday night, the need to go out and “party” is getting strong. And you get drunk at least Friday night or Saturday night, or even both, and you spend your Sunday hangover and depressed that you have to go back to work on Monday.


  • The third one is the most accepted one, that some people don’t even consider unhealthy or abnormal. You drink every day, but less than 3 glasses per day. After all, the WHO told you it’s okay. And everyone is doing it, depending on which society you live in, you might even drink at lunch with your teammates, with your customers, or with your boss. You might even be put aside if you refuse to drink.


Do you identify with some of these?

Maybe not at all. Or if you are being honest with yourself, you feel irritated by what I’m saying because you actually know you might have an issue with Alcohol. It can be hard to admit, I know, I have been there.

Then let’s go a little further together. Shall we? Great.

Here are Some questions to help you evaluate your relationship with alcohol :


  • Do you have a hard time not drinking for several days in a row?

  • Are you able to be sober during the week, knowing that you are going to “have it” on the weekend?

  • Do you wake up in the morning trying to find an excuse to drink tonight?

  • Are you sometimes considering hiding your consumption from your loved ones?

  • Have you ever experienced blackouts linked with alcohol consumption? More than once? On a regular basis?

  • Are you doing regular activities with your friends that do not involve alcohol at all?

  • Do you have friends that do not consume alcohol? Do you enjoy spending time with them? Do you think it will be more fun if they were drinking with you?

  • Have you ever considered quitting but felt like you would be lost without it? Losing your identity, your only source of enjoyment, and maybe even your purpose?

My wish is that with these questions you will consider being more aware of your relationship with alcohol and do some introspection. At this point, if you are ready to consider that you might have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, do not worry. It’s actually great news.


Being conscious of it is the first step to act upon it.


As far as I am concerned, I have been drinking from 13 years old to 28 years old and it was almost all I knew. I thought it was part of my identity and the only thing that was making me “happy”.


Nothing could have been so far from the truth.

Since I quit, my life has been amazing, I have been traveling to many places, I have been growing so much, my self-esteem and self-love has grown, my wealth has grown tremendously, my experience of life has grown, and I have met amazing people from a lot of different countries. I quit my job and put in place passive income to be able to sustain myself everywhere in the world, I live a life full of freedom and meaning. I now know that this is the true way to enjoy life. And nothing of this would have been possible if I was still drinking today.


Why? Because alcohol takes away your energy, your time, your focus, your creativity, your ambition, your willingness to grow and learn new things, and your money.


Enjoying life is not partying every week end, it’s living life to the fullest and explore all the possibilities life has to offer.

 


There is hope. The hardest thing is to take the decision to change, the change happens by itself once you make space for it. You can become a new person, explore new possibilities, and live the life you do not even dare dream about. I know you can, cause I did it.

I can help you do it.

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