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  • Julien Demaret

The 4 Soul Families and How to Find Yours

Are you a Builder, a Peacemaker, a Structurer, or a Giver?

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash First of all, I would like to reveal my sources. I was introduced to this concept in a personal development seminar in France in November 2018, called the keys to success. I have also integrated into this classification my understanding of the 5 wounds that prevent you from being yourself by Lise Bourbeau. This work is my personal synthesis. I hope it will help you understand yourself better and act in this world accordingly, with more coherence. It is the only goal of this article and this soul families classification. By the end of this article, my wish is that you will identify yourself with one soul family and discover if who you are is aligned with what you do. ∘ The benefits of knowing your soul family ∘ The Soul Families TEST ∘ The Builder ∘ The Peacemaker ∘ The Structurer ∘ The Giver ∘ The results ∘ What to do with that knowledge The benefits of knowing your soul family Each soul family has a particular body type, a dimension of existence in which the individuals are thriving, a wound, chakras associated, eating preferences, specific tempers and looks… The main benefit of knowing your soul family is to be aligned with who you are. It is to identify what you are truly good at, and what is actually giving you energy when you are doing it, instead of costing you a lot of energy when you are trying to do something that is not meant for you. What is more, knowing and understanding this classification can help you understand others in a better way and interact with them more effectively. Let’s start with some questions to help you orient yourself in a soul family. Note your answers on a piece of paper and I will reveal the results of the test at the end of the article. Before that, I will introduce and explain the soul families. We are starting with the test so that you are not influenced by your knowledge while answering. The Soul Families TEST Each situation has 4 possible answers. You have 4 points to distribute among the answers for each question: — If only one answer suits you, put 4 points — If you agree with several answers, distribute the points in order of importance, for example, 2 points to the answer that suits you best then 1 point to the other two. — If no answer suits you, you must still place 4 points. 1. To relax, recharge my batteries: A. I walk in the middle of nature, in the forest. B. I occupy my mind by playing games of reflection, and strategy. I tidy up my living space. C. I take care of others through associations and social or humanitarian projects. D. I practice sports or physical activity. 2. In general, in life: A. I like to find meaning in things and events. B. I enjoy organizing things and coaching a team. C. I am attentive to the well-being of those around me. D. I’m a go-getter, I set myself challenges and I achieve them. 3. In the evening with friends: A. I seek connection with people and deep conversations. B. I stay a little behind and I am very observant, I analyze the behavior of people. C. I dance and share the collective joy, the happier others are, the happier I am. D. I make sure everyone will remember me because I like to be noticed and I like to be the center of attention. 4. When I work in a team: A. I motivate the group and bring energy. B. I organize and distribute the tasks according to the qualifications of each person. C. I make sure everyone feels comfortable in their work environment. I am interested in the feelings of my team members. D. I take action without worrying too much about the details. Goals should be reached and it’s my main focus. 5. What hurts me the most: A. I often feel that I am being persecuted, that people are being unfair to me or are trying to humiliate me. B. I am asked to be quiet when I put forward an idea and try to participate in a group discussion. C. I feel like I’m invisible so people don’t notice me or forget my presence. D. I feel betrayed by people who don’t keep their commitments to me. 6. In society, in my relationship with others: A. I do everything to hide my faults and weak points so that I will be perceived as someone perfect. B. I tend to seek solitude. C. I have difficulty doing or deciding something on my own, and I ask for others’ advice. D. I like to feel special and important. 7. As a couple, and in my relationship with myself: A. I am very demanding with myself and I want to push my limits. B. I often feel misunderstood. C. I don’t like loneliness, I need to feel supported. D. I need to be in control to feel good. 8. Regarding my relationship with food: A. I prefer salty foods to sweet foods. I love everything that is crisp. I control what I eat so as not to gain weight. I justify myself when I overdo it. B. I lose my appetite when I’m upset or scared. I eat some small portions. I like to drink alcohol or eat sugar to comfort me. C. I have a good appetite. I can eat large amounts of food. I like soft foods and I eat slowly. D. I have a good appetite and I eat quickly. I add salt and spices to my dishes. I can control myself when I’m busy but I lose control afterward. 9. Regarding my look, people often tell me that: A. My eyes are bright and full of life. The innocent eyes of a child. B. I have a shifty gaze and I can’t bear the gaze of others. C. I have big eyes with a sad expression. D. I have intense and seductive eyes. 10. Regarding my physical appearance: A. I stand tall and proud. My body is well proportioned. I have rounded buttocks. OR I have a large body and I am overweight. B. My body is contracted, tight, thin, or seems to have a part missing, and also lacks symmetry. C. My body is long and thin, my back is hunched, and my body lacks tone and some parts are flaccid (always). D. My body exhibits strength and power. In men, shoulders are wider than hips. In women, the hips are wider and stronger than the shoulders. Domed chest. Belly bulging. 11. When I have to make a decision: A. I tend to doubt my choices but I don’t ask for help. B. I often feel misunderstood, I choose with logic and reflection. C. I find it difficult to decide on my own, I ask the opinion of others but I don’t necessarily follow it. D. I understand the different options available to me and I act quickly. 12. My biggest fear is: A. Coldness, when people are completely indifferent to me and don’t show any affection. OR Freedom, because being free means to be limitless and I’m afraid of what I might achieve. B. Panic, when my anxieties take over. C. Loneliness, I absolutely do not want to be alone. D. Denial, when I lose the esteem of people important to me. For the results, count the number of points you have for answers A, for answers B, for answers C, and for answers D. A: X points B: X points C: X points D: X points The Builder

image made by the author on CanvaThe Builder is at ease in the physical dimension. He gains energy when he’s acting in the world. He is goal-oriented and task-driven. He wants to create. He is not at ease trying to organize, feel his emotions, or pass his knowledge. Those activities will cost him energy. He cannot stay still for long. He rejoices in the movement. His wound is betrayal. He wants to be trusted and does everything accordingly. He has a tendency to try to control everything, thinking that if he controls himself and the people around him, they will not have a chance to betray him. The builder's body displays strength and power. The man has shoulders wider than his hips. He has a muscular body. He can have a big tummy, but not noticeable from behind. The woman has large hips, wider than her shoulders, and a big tummy. He has an intense and seductive look. He wants to be considered responsible and strong. He is a fast thinker and a fast doer. He likes to feel special and important. He wants to be the center of attention. The red builder driven by his root chakra is goal-oriented and does not pay attention to the possible victims of his dedication. The orange builder driven by his sacral chakra is more restrained and creative and has a lot of sexual energy. Here are some keywords for the builder : action / sport / physical / control / confidence / goals / survival / challenge / sexuality / creativity. The Peacemaker

image made by the author on canva The peacemaker is at ease in the emotional dimension. He gains energy by feeling positive emotions and generating well-being in others. He wants to help others and has a tendency to be an empath, he is greatly influenced by other people’s feelings. He is likely to engage in social and humanitarian activities, he is very social and likes to be surrounded by people. Partying and feeling others’ enjoyment is nourishing him. His wound is abandonment. He is willing to do whatever it takes to not feel lonely. He wants people to give him love. He thinks that everyone is like him, that everyone should take care of him because he is taking care of the others. All his energy and attention are given to others and in return he expects someone to give him back. He cannot provide for himself. He is dependent on others' love. His body displays a lack of tonicity. The back is hunched and the body is long and thin. Sadness can be perceived in his big eyes. The yellow peacemaker driven by his solar plexus chakra is wise and knows his abilities and his power. When he is balanced, he is self-oriented and has high self-love and self-esteem. The green peacemaker driven by his heart chakra is more inclined toward universal love and selflessness. He put others’ needs before his needs. Here are some keywords for the peacemaker : emotions / sharing / feeling / empath / altruism / love / wise / power / universal love / healing The Structurer

image made by the author on canva. The structurer is at ease in the mental dimension. Organizing, logical thinking, and visualizing are activities that are nourishing him. His ability to handle and organize tasks, and identify and distribute logically what is needed to be done to the people that are the ablest to execute the tasks are making him a good manager. He is an excellent speaker and has good intuition. Bringing order is what he is meant to do. His wound is rejection. Indeed, people can reject him when he is trying to organize things and bring order. He has a tendency to run away first before others have the opportunity to reject him. His body is thin, with tonus. Some parts might be missing, and the body might be asymmetric. He looks like he doesn’t want to take too much space, and is ready to run away at the first conflict. He has small eyes, marked with tiredness or fear. He is searching for loneliness. In a group, he is very analytic and is not talking a lot. He likes to escape his life by different means and is inclined to consume products to do so. He is always thinking and has issues controlling his thoughts. The blue structurer driven by his throat chakra has good communication skills. The indigo structurer driven by his third eye chakra is visualizing and following his intuitions. Here are some keywords for the structurer : organisation / planning / order / visionary / communication / thinker / logical / rational The Giver

image made by the author on canva The giver is at ease in the spiritual dimension. He is meant to bring meaning and purpose. He likes to understand, assimilate, synthesize and reshape knowledge to share it with others. He enjoys meaningful conversations with people and always talks about concepts. Sharing and giving his knowledge is what brings him energy. He has a tendency to be able to feel the energy in his body and pass it on to others also. Some givers are good energetic healers. His wound is persecution. It can be either injustice or humiliation. To avoid being persecuted, the giver is very likely to try to adopt another soul family in order to protect himself. The giver wounded by injustice becomes very rigid with himself and others and tends to desire to be perfect. He is hiding his weaknesses. He is not accepting his emotions. He has issues showing his love to others. He thinks that if he acts, talks, thinks, and has a perfect body, people will not be able to be unfair to him. He has a well-proportioned, straight body, with a rounded butt, the most perfect possible. His eyes are bright and alive. The giver wounded by humiliation becomes masochist with himself and is constantly denying himself, he is ashamed even before others have the opportunity to make him feel ashamed. He is afraid of freedom. He has a tendency to be hypersensitive. He is eating his emotions or frustration. His body is fat, with a round face and a wide neck. His eyes are big and round, like the ones of a child. Although there are two wounds and two possible body types and temper for the giver, there is only one chakra, the crown chakra linked with spirituality. Here are some keywords for the giver: search for meaning / spiritual / passing knowledge / connection / energy The results A: Giver B: Structurer C: Peacemaker D: Builder Where you have the more points is your Soul family. If you happen to have very close scores between two or more families, it means you are at ease in several dimensions. It can also mean you have adopted a new soul family to protect yourself from your original one. It can also mean you have developed a soul family of adoption in accordance with your professional life. If you doubt, follow the physical description, the body never lies. What to do with that knowledge “And now what ?” You might ask yourself. Well, now that you may have a feeling for your soul family, look at what you’re doing in your daily life. Look at your job, and your hobbies, are they helping you to be fulfilled? Are they coherent with your soul family and your dimension? Are you getting energy out of it? Or losing energy, struggling to achieve what you have to? If you are struggling, maybe the time has come to reconsider your activities, to be more aligned with who you really are, deep inside. If you are anything like me, you might also recognize yourself in one particular soul family but it looks like the skills you should be having are not the ones you have. Well, that’s great news! It means you need to explore more on this side, and it explains why you probably feel unfulfilled in your life right now. Of course, it is just a classification, and individuals cannot be labeled this easily. The purpose of this is just to identify patterns. We are all complex human beings and we might be at ease in all dimensions, we might recognize ourselves in more than one soul family, in more than one wound, it is very okay. My intention here is to give you some knowledge because you might have understood by now, that I’m a giver, and this is what I like doing. I want to explain, I want to understand, I want to bring meaning. I hope it will help some of you who might be a bit lost, to reconnect with yourself and find purpose. For those of you who want to go deeper into this, I hardly suggest you read the book “ the 5 wounds that prevent you from being yourself” by Lise Bourbeau.

 

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