• Julien Demaret

“You’re very nice.” — Well thanks, I can be a jerk too!

Do not take away half of my being!

Photo by Alexandra Dementyeva on Unsplash

I have never been able to accept compliments from people. I didn’t know why… Until I figured it out recently listening to Franck Lopvet's insights on youtube. Telling me I’m a good person is like taking away my freedom to act as a bad one. It is like taking away half of my potential, half of my being.

We live in a dual world. Light and darkness, joy and sorrow, pain and pleasure,… Everything works with it’s opposite. Balance is only possible when positive and negative forces are combined. It is true at the atomic level, with electrons and protons, as it is true for us. What we see in others is what we are. We do not see others fully. We see of them only what we are able to perceive. The interesting thing is that we are able to perceive only what we have in us. If we are unaware of what pain is, we cannot perceive pain in others. Only the common things we share with someone are perceivable. As a consequence, what we dislike in others is what we dislike in ourselves. And the more we try to pretend we are not selfish, jealous, sad, or any other “ negative” behavior or emotions, the more we see it in others and it annoys us. Because ultimately, It annoys us to have it in ourselves, and the others are just constantly reminding us that fact, while we are trying to hide away from it. It works for “positive things” too. If we perceive kindness, compassion and happiness in someone, it means we have it too. It is way easier and convenient to accept it this way. The energy of the opposites is the same. Courage and Cowardice are two expressions of the same energy. We cannot know courage without knowing its opposite Cowardice. They work together. They exist thanks to their opposite, as a comparison point to distinguish the two. Trying to believe we are only courageous and hiding our cowardice will have only one consequence. Because we are not accepting the full energy of courage and cowardice inside, we are going to see what we reject outside of us. Suddenly in our life, we will observe cowards and think we are not like them, we are only courageous. We will feel annoyed by this outside cowardice as long as we are not accepting to take it back inside ourselves and accept it as a part of us too. This doesn’t mean that we are cowards, or we are courageous. It just means that we accept having the potential to be both, and that we can choose in every moment which one we want to use, according to the situation. Final words According to Franck Lopvet, our purpose on earth is only to experience feelings. If we reject half of the creation, because we label it as “negative” or “bad” and we want to be the “good” person, we are taking away half of our human potential. Being human is the freedom to choose whoever we want to be at any given moment. Accepting that we are able to do the best and the worse is freeing us from morality and reunifying us from the duality of this world. That’s why when someone is telling me I’m a good person, I like to remind them I can be bad too, if I choose to, because it’s my freedom to be a whole human being, not only half of it.


PS: If you like my work, you can receive it in your mailbox every time I publish a new post. I’m sharing my life experience with you in the hope that It will add value to your life and inspire you to grow. Thank you for reading. Quotations and claims are derived from my experience unless specified otherwise. My views and opinions on topics are not intended to replace yours but are offered to broaden your perspective of life.

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